*devious look and laugh*

OK. Me and Kayoru were playing truth or dare the other night. I dared him to wear the girliest costume he could find to the band Halloween costume party on Thursday, and he dared me to kiss him...he said on Saturday but he's not gonna be there so I'm gonna do it today. Well....I'm a little too intelligent for him. Instead of actually Kissing him....I'm gonna Hershey Kiss him. ROFLMAOSHIAPMP!!!! He has no idea. I'm so clever (^_____^). But i digress. So this should be fun.....gotta go!

Rindoshi

my weekend

OK....my weekend KIND OF stank. Since Thursday, i have been having some issues with my one friend from color guard. Over my new BF. It's actually her ex...and he was going out with her the very day before he asked me out. So.....now it seems that the band isn't too happy with him because of what he did to her. Apparently they aren't taking into consideration how this makes ME feel. The proof of this problem is on Saturday. We had our cavalcade on Saturday. We got fourth place just for the record. And i messed up REALLY bad.......I'll explain in a bit. But on the way home....some people were calling him a "man whore" and it was really pissing him off. I feel responsible for this...i have no idea why but i do. I have like three people saying it isn't my fault but...i don't listen. And I never meant to hurt this friend. Like i said to her on Thursday night. Sisters before misters. If anything else goes wrong between me and her because of him.....i honestly dunno what to do. But for now me and her have things sorted out and its done with...for now though. And me and Kayoru (nickname)....we are very happy together. At the cavalcade.....he comforted me when i was bawling my eyes out because of my mistake...and he had his arm around me the whole time for the rest of the night. But now to talk about this "mistake" i made.

OK.....we have four songs throughout our show. During the last one, we switch flags. I had not been paying attention to which flag i was grabbing because i was to focused on my scarf which had fallen off anyways. So, i grabbed the wrong flag!!!!! I grabbed the silver one again instead of our copper ones. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Thank god i realised this and didn't use it! That would have been even worse. But that was my huge ass mistake. And i feel like our fourth place score was because of me....even though it probably wasn't ALL my fault. But i still feel like it was because that's a HUGE mistake....*sigh* But i just have to focus on whats ahead of me and PRAY that i never do that again. Because if i do....i will be very upset and probably go into hiding for about a week. Just saying.

So other than my drama, getting a BF, messing up big time at CG....and anything else i might have done, My weekend has been pretty OK.

*sigh*

Today Kinda stank. We had a bomb threat at our school today...stood outside in freezing cold weather for nearly three hours, couldn't do much of anything cept talk. So....i stood there and talked with my friend austin. He's my buddy ^_^. And the real kicker of my week.....my zune has crapped out on me, they can't do a single thing for it because of two ITTY BITTY little cracks in it...so....*hangs head in shame* i gave into the iPod. I now have a silver ipod nano 8GB. Its really nice. So far atleast. Im spending my night putting songs and that on it so i have entertainment for tomorrow. wish me luck!

Speaking of tomorrow....i get to hang wit my new BF a bit. His name is kyle and he's in band with me....well...he on the actual band, im just the CG. But it's kinda....strange so far. ke he must like to move somewhat fast....that scares me a bit. but i can deal.

Welp, thats all for now. got work to do. Night y'all!

GRRRRR( my angry little blurb)

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! *talking fast* MY WRIST HURTS (BOTH OF EM NO LESS...but on and off), I TALKED TO DAN BUT WAS SHAKING AFTERWARDS, AND I STILL HAVE HOMEWORK FROM LAST NIGHT THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE YET! AAAAHHHHHHH...ok...i'm done. Just needed to get that out of my system. I'm feeling a little stressed and with people and school and Color Guard...and pain that goes with it...things aren't getting any easier.

Ok...NOW i'm done...byez!

im bored and stupid...nice to meet you!

Alright, I SHOULD be working on my final draft for English....but instead, I'm on here writing and reading. I was reading some of my previous entries from this past week.....realizing how much of a dunce that i am....and continued reading. I also say I'm a dunce because of what the frick i did yesterday. Here goes:
Yesterday I had to stay after school for detention...which REALLY wasn't all that bad, in fact it helped me because i got all my Spanish homework done in it (^_^)....but after i was done with that, i went and hung out with Bo for a bit (Dan's friend) and then that made me want to go to Dan's football game (JV). So....The girl that was coming in to help us with color guard a bit showed up...i did warm ups with her and did a few dance things (which will definitely help me but not TOO much)....then we went down to the practice field (marching band's, not football's) and I went to the game for like five minutes. Well, he was there....i didn't get to see him play, why you may ask? Because he hurt himself (his ankle) and was on the bench for a bit! I wanted to call him last night after girl scouts was over but it was too late and he was probably sacked out by then. So i wanted to talk to him today......which i will...but for two reasons. One to see if he's alright....and two....and this one may seem dumb....but i kinda wanted to necklace i gave him back. Its a two part set. The one is the black part of yin and yang that has a white gem....i have that one....the white one with the black gem...i gave that to him, and i kinda want i back for the simple reason....it's kind of a boyfriend girlfriend thing to have them....and we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore so.....whats the point of him having it? i mean he doesn't wear it anyways, so.....yea. I just hope he doesnt try to make a fuss over it. That would be bad. Welp, gotta go.....class is soon over and we have to get the computers shut down. MATTA NE!!!!!!

School so far....

It's only second period...BUT....Today has been fairly decent so far. I find out that i needed my practice flag for tonight...if i wanted to improve on my basics, this one girl who is friends with our saber instructor, she is coming to help us on basics and tosses and stuff tonight. BUUUUT, i don't have my practice flag with me, and i have to stay after school today because i have detention (for 3 tardies without notes) SO, that should be fun. OH, and my grandma has to pick me up at six thirty (so I'm only gonna get an hour with this lady) to take me home so i can help with our girl scout "cooking night" thing. We're working on badge and we have to cook a full course meal, then there is something about setting tables and whatever else my mom decides to do. FUN eh?

I am trying so hard not to think about Dan-kun. ITS SO HARD! I still like him (oh and all those bad things you heard about him from my blog in which he commented.....ignore them completely. They're not true ^_^) and i want to still date him....kedo....he's too busy to have a relationship with anyone (girlfriend wise). So i have to move on....and it's not going to be easy with FREAKING AUTUMN CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT DAN AND BO!!!!!!!!! Good god she knows how to drive a girl insane. So.....i don't know what i'm gonna do. I even highly doubt im going to homecoming. It would be just a sad reminder that i have no one who loves me (romanticly) in my life. I know thats a bit dramatic but once you think about it...it's true.

Anyways, if anyone has any ideas or comments about my previous entry (*sigh* from sunday, october 5th) please leave em (^_^) i need all the help i can get. Time to get back to work....MATTA NE!

*sigh*

Who here is easily discouraged? *raises hand* Yea.....I'm an aspiring artist...and i get discouraged VERY easily. We are doing portraits in art and I decided to do my one friend Mia. She took a picture of herself (just her face you pervs).....so i decided to use that. But (and this is where the first sentence comes in) It's not coming out like the picture and I'm starting to get very discouraged. Like i want to scratch the entire thing...but i daresn't do that. I don't know how else to improve on my techniques or my overall attitude about it (art). Like I'm always frustrated because in my mind everything is detailed and elaborate and beautiful.but on paper....it looks like crap...plain and simple. I never like it. Well...sometimes I'm amazed at what comes out but i haven't gotten any result like that in a long time. But i want to improve so bad. A lot of my friends on deviant Art and even in school (of the few friends i actually have) they are so ch better than i a....I'm so far behind....i obviously am not going to be able to catch up in a year or so. I want to be able to go to college for Graphic design with confidence....but at this rate that won't happen.
This is the part where i sund pathetic and desperate....If anyone has ideas on how to improve my art....or my attitude towards it...plaese leave a comment. And please don't say to just practice....cause i have heard it so many times it isnt funny. But any other comment is greatly appreciated. ARIGATO GOZAIMASU *bows* (^_^) sorry....just had to do that.

L8ter Sk8terz!

私はそれを信じることができない!!!!!

Oh my God! Last night's practice for Color Gaurd was like.....so fun! We changed the drill for the third song....I wasn't in a foul mood.....Its AMAZING! I couldn't believe it! Neither could a lot of other people. I don't know why i've been in a good mood lately. Even David was like "you know whats really ironic? It's like everyone else is in a bad mood and you're not". It's so bizarre! Ever since he broke up with me....(dan not dave)....I've been feeling much happier. I honestly don't know the exact reason but i think thats it. It still bugs me about why but honestly....thats his problem...not mine. Like my mom said two days ago "if you sit on it long enough, it'll hatch". So....thats that. Anyways....i gotta go soon, OH and can't wait for da football game tonight (yippee*sarcasm*) I'm gonna listen to my zune all night...cept for our performance AND half time. Ok....l8ter sk8terz!

i really hate myself

This is so frustrating. I came in late for the second time this week! I don't know whats wrong with me. This morning....i woke up at 5:30, turned my alarm off and went back to sleep....like i always do. But today and Tuesday.....i didn't wake up til 7:30! My alarm goes off for an hour after the first alarm....i slept through an HOUR of my alarm going off and didn't hear it! Third time this year, second time this week. I'm probably like sick or something....i don't know. I did get my "friend" on Tuesday so that could be the reason for today. I don't know. My mom is going to be furious if she finds out. I don't know what else to day...have her wake me up when she does (which by the way is at 4:30 in the morning), have mother call me every morning like last year? HELP ME!!!!! Since I obviously can't figure this out myself. Mom and mother say to get another alarm clock.....its not my alarm clock....its me. I honestly need help.
Then when i got here today....at 8.....DAN WAS IN CHORUS! He didn't look at me....didn't laugh at me for being late. I had like the most miserable look on my face.....i looked like i was about to cry (not because of him) But i was just....so miserable. He said hi....and I just looked at the floor...hanging my head in shame. I heard him say hi to me and that was about it.....i wouldn't look at anyone....i don't even want to look at myself. I feel miserable right now...not to mention sick to my stomach. I honestly don't know if he still wants to be my friend or not. If he does....great for him. I probably still like him and everything...but after hearing what he said about me....i just...dislike him....slightly. I wish me and him could work things out but....he broke up with me...thats the end of it. I want to know his TRUE reason behind it but...mom said to just let it go for a while...and the truth will come out. She said, "if you sit on it long enough, It'll hatch," and she's right.
Ok...g2g...class is soon over. Matta Ne!

今のところ週の更新そして1つの地獄。

alright, here's the scoop.me and Dan broke up on Monday night...he wanted to do it in person on Tuesday but i wouldn't let him (given the fact i didn't know what it was he wanted to talk about and it was driving me nuts....i probably wouldn't have been able to sleep anyhow). So yesterday (Tuesday) I over slept....only got to school at like 8....and then find out at Dan's birthday party....him and his friend Bo were talking badly about me and Bo's girlfriend....whom is also my friend. So i had to ask my one band buddy(s) about what they said....i find out that Dan A) said i was stupid...and B) was gonna break up with me at the homecoming dance......that JERK!!!!!!!!! he such a chinpoko! UGH! I can't believe i ever liked him. He's so full of himself and he's so conceited its pathetic. And i think it was Charlito (his one friend) that said I'm the only girl he could get....he's probably right. I was his first girlfriend, and if he keeps up his attitude he wont have a second. So now i want to know what he said exactly about me.....but if worse comes to worse...i never speak to him again. I mean he wants to be my friend yet...but i don't know if i can after hearing what some of his party guests heard that day. It's ridiculous.

...*blink blink*

Umm...not much to say. Yesterday was kind of....hell for me. I was going to quit CG but the seniors and instructor are lucky that they are the silver tongued devils they are.....'cause i'm still in it. This thing between me and the one girl....its over. Thats all thats to it is that is over. I ended up missing the practice anyways because I had homework i REALLY needed to do. One way or another....im still ineligable. *hangs head but Inner Lind-z cheers* Sorry......i dont really want to perform but they probably are still going to make me since they have a hole. And thats bad. I dont know.

Away football game tonight ^_^. I hope it rains cuz i REALLY dont want to perform tonight. It's going to be windy anyways so why bother with flags and tosses. WEEEEEE. I got to wear dan's jersey again. But this one is his home game jersey.....cuz its an away game and he has to wear that one ^_^. I talked to him last noght on the phone.....I really owe him an apology for freaking out him about autumn's....issue. He was laughing about it and the "issue" isnt something to laugh about. I wanted to smack him.....but i couldn;t cause it was over the phone. Make sense? yea? good. *yawns* so....tired..... Well...i better wrap this up....;And i just might not get too many points this week for Blog because i only have three instead of five. Oh well. L8TER SK8TERZ!!!!

出ていきなさい!!!!!

OK...i am severely tired of certain people telling me what i should and shouldn't do. I am trying to figure out what the hell to do with guard to begin with and I don't need peoples shit telling me I don't make sense or that i am going to fail at life for quitting ONE thing! I am torn so as it is. But actually.....you are making my decision much easier...only problem is not many people would like the outcome. Just saying. And, if your reading this blog, you know who you are. And i don't care how pissed you get a me...its the truth and babe you need a wake up call. I don't care if you turn the entire freaking school on me....it's not worth my health and sanity to stay with something that i am being pressured into staying with and don't like anymore...given the fact that it is too much stress for me. You want everything to work out YOUR way? you take my spot. Have fun with that. But i digress. I am seriously taking EVERYTHING into consideration and having people yelling at me (once again...you know who you are) is not making this any easier. If this keeps up...I'll just quit and not give a damn about the consequences. Plain and simple. It's not worth it. I thought it'd be fun and i would have come out of my shell...made a few more friends and enjoy competing....guess what...I'm not enjoying it anymore and with the school year coming round......I can't keep up. I'm probably going to be ineligible soon anyways....but i don't know. So put simply....GET OFF MY BACK! A'ight? If you can't handle THAT much...then don't talk to me....ever. or atleast not about that. I dont have much else to say. Thanks to this certain someone i am speaking to, my good mood is ruined and now you won't hear my funny stories of pain at tonights practice. Sorry.

Bye.

更新!!!

Alright, here's the scoop. I didn't do much this weekend. I had my party (for my sweet 16 that was a month late) on Saturday. Sunday , did nothing but homework. And I'm STILL not done!!! I have my ENTIRE English project to do yet, and I'm probably going to fail that class since English CLASS is my worse subject (for some dumb reason). I have yet to FINISH my tessellation for art class. I have 18 more flowers to color for it but almost all of those are partials so its not so bad. Math homework....that's easy breezy (*laughs hysterically at "easy breezy" because that's a song by Utada Hikaru*) Chemistry....I have a project that i have yet to start but i don't think it'll be THAT hard. And well.....Spanish is a daily thing just like math but those two i can handle. See this is why I'm considering quitting color guard. I can't take the fighting in there...too much drama...I'm almost constantly being chewed out for stuff that I either am not the ONLY one doing or another reason (i can't think right now....tired ^_^) But then of course, I'm stressing myself out because when I screw up....even if it is just practice...i like get so mad at myself. And when we perform...if i mess up...i wait til after the performance to "beat myself up" (not literally!!!) But I'm going to talk to Ron and Norma tonight about it.....and mi madre will be there so it's not like...awkward. If i do quit, i will try to help the band out when i can, and also i will STILL go to the football games ^_^. Away or home...i will still try to go. But...hopefully all ends well.

There isnt much more to say really. Cept maybe that me and dan MIGHT start playing 1001 questions. I want to know more about him and he probably wants to know me better too. I have only known him for a year so....it's worth a shot. Hopefully he gets the notebook out of his band locker enough to actually WRITE to me. Or he could just tell me...whichever works for him ^_^.

Ok...NOW there is nothing to say. So i should probably wrap this up. ill blog tonight after CG. Let y'all know whats happnin. L8TER SK8TERZ!!!!

Fun fun fun!

Today is gonna be hectic Major! The varsity football team has an away game today, and We (marching band) have to perform at half time (oh joy) and.......my weekend is gonna be nuts. I have to be at school for four so i am just staying after again. Like I did yesterday, I was to work on an art project....well....didnt get MUCH done....but i did get SOME work done. Then I got to hang with Dan for like....five minutes, Yay....But tonight...i might get to hang with him a BIT more. Not sure but maybe. Oh....and....i'm not wearing his "home" jersey because he forgot it at home. He asked if i wanted the truth or the BS version....and I'm glad I asked for the truth. His BS version was kind of ridiculous. Anyways....Hopefully I get to hang with him tonight, before or after would suffice. *sigh* I wish I had more classes with him, or at least Lunch! But NO our school was queer and didn't give us ANY classes together. It sucks. And our weekend schedule is probably NEVER going to meet up. I never get to really hang with him. It sucks so bad. That's why i stay after sometimes (like yesterday and somewhat today) just so i can see him. Any other time he's busy or walking the other way and/ or I'm not paying attention. UGH! this is so frustrating! I know i rant and rave a lot about me and him...or lack there of...on here. But this is the only place that I can express my concerns and feelings.....and possibly get decent feedback. And since I DON'T get to see him, I can easily give him the links and he can read them. That's how we solved the problem that we had this past few days. I don't remember if i said before, but he did apologize. OH! And Dan got to meet my grandpa yesterday! I kinda wanted them to shake hands but....pap was in the truck and on the OTHER side (^_^). But....I think pappy approves. So it's good with that. *sigh* Dunno what to do about the whole...spending time thing. Thjere isnt much we CAN do. I dont want him to change some of his plans just for me.....Kedo (but) it would be nice every now and then to hang with him for LONGER than five minutes or so. Anyways, I soon gotta go, class is almost over. Plus It wouldn't hurt if i worked on studying for my permit.....yes i have yet to get it. So....yeah. L8TER SK8TERZ!!!!

*sigh of relief*

Today has been ok so far. Danny boy is probably mad at me cuz i said to wait for me...where i'd actually have to wait for him.....well, i kinda didn't and so....he might be mad. BUT on the brighter side, me and him are...better i should say. Yesterday he FINALLY read my last two posts....and he apologized to me...and higged me like five times. He said he felt bad, which is a sign of sympathy (YESSSS). That yes was me being happy 'cause....MY BOYFRIEND DOES HAVE A HEART! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! So it's all good. I have to stay after school today to work on an art project that is due tomorrow, so he said he'll talk to me then...even though he has football practice. Not sure how thats gonna work out but alrighty then. Anyways....i gotta get working here and i'll probably blog later. I'll update on the whole dan thing later. BYEZ!

Bad Day continued...

Alright....here's the scoop. Dan is a butt...and doesn't care that I am mad at him. Well, in his words, he cares he just doesn't show it. But today after school, when I was leaving, I saw him like i usually do. He said something about the note i gave him earlier with the link to my LAST post and throwing it away. So i just was like 'whatever' Then he asked if i was mad at him. I said I was. Then he comes and says "oh well"?!?! I just looked at him and said "and you obviously don't care" and walked away. He didn't even try to stop me! I wanted him to....i wanted him to just grab my arm, whip me around and hug me. but no.....he just went away. Heh...then when I went to color guard practice, he was finishing his football practice and I was talking to him a little bit.....i was still severely pissed and he still acted like he didn't give a rats patooty. I let him borrow my phone to call his dad, because Im a nice person like that, I asked him if he had any CLUE why i was mad at him, he said no. And he left.....there were a few words of farewell but they seemed insignificant to the fact that he didnt even attempt to hug me. And of course....when he walked away I got pissed again and started to listen to this song.....It's called "all or nothing" by Theory of a Dead Man. (play video at bottome for song) I CRIED! I feel kinda bad.....My mo thinks it's petty crap, but to me.....it kinda hurts. And replying to my friends comment...It's not that im afraid he'll hurt me...i just dont know if he'll "protect" me.....and well maybe a slight fear of hurtin'. And I didnt type that one part right....it should have said "MY trust level towards him" My bad! Anyways.....I gotta go. NIGHT!

bad day

So far my day has been crappy. Yesterday was crappy too. I ended upo not going to Dan's game because i wasn't outside waiting for his dad. I FEEL SO STUPID! I feel really bad about it and he was on the phone wiht me last night saying, "Oh you'll forget about" UGH he made me so mad! Him telling me what I will and will not forget ISN'T gonna sit too well with me. And him also getting all pissy with me over the phone just because he lost his game.....That's not gonna sit too well either. I had a bad day too and I have learned not to take it out on my boyfriends....I sometimes choose to vent to them but thats about it. But him....UGH he's being such a BUTT! He won't tell me what he wants for his birthday, he acts like the world was gonna end because he lost 28-0, he showed no sympathy towards me saying "it'll be ok....there are other games." NO! he decides he's gonna say "oh you'll forget about it" UUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!! Oh and another thing. I asked him...numerous times " you wouldn't hurt me right?" He kept saying.....after every time i asked....something about him knowing forms of pain. That's not even CLOSE to what i SHOULD have heard. When he said that his trust level went from here *holds arm out shoulder height* to here *brings hand down to knee level*. It's not like I'm afraid of him....i just don't know. I feel like i don't know anything. Maybe i shoulod write down the link to this blog and let him read it....maybe he'd get a taste for how i feel right now...not like he'd give a damn or anything. Well, I gotta go soon....I'll blog tonight (gotta make up for yesterday anyways). Ciao!

just woke up...

OK.....like it said. I just woke up. From my "cat nap" and i slept for four hours....now....i want to go BACK to sleep soon because I gotta get up fer school tomorrow, and I'd rather not be tired (^_^) Since of course Dan's dad is picking me up and we are going to the football game right away. It's an away game so that's why. Any my mom is probably working tomorrow....and I dunno where it is or when it starts. SOOOOO......yea. Like for some reason I want to see my BF play....yet I don't understand a THING about the sport. So i have to have him (if he EVER gets time), his dad (whom I have only met twice and probably am not going to really talk to tomorrow) or his friend who goes to all the football games (and is ALWAYS preoccupied with my new friend who like to hold his hand but wont ask the boy out) explain this game to me.

Anyways, I better get off soon, don't want to ruin my sleep pattern. Later folks!

*sigh*

I can't believe this. I didn't even get to sleep in today! I had to go do volunteer work for G-Scouts and it was hard! I had to wash trays for three hours at our town fair. Fun ....NOT. I completely forgot about it until this morning when my mom woke me up...and I wanted to hang with Dan today. Well....that didn't happen either because he went over to his cousin's house. Andy is my friend too but...i was really looking forward to hanging with Dan. I wasn't going to make him choose...but....we NEVER get to see each other! It really sucks! I can't hang with him next Saturday either....I have my 16th B-day party but also.....he's uber busy. I really want to do something nice for him for HIS 16th birthday...but...we never have any time to really hang. It's frustrating and I don't know what to do. I HATE THIS! I had one er two classes with him last year and now that we are finally dating, we never see a glimpse of one another. UGH! I wanna ask someone...like my art teacher for advice. Cause neither him nor I know what to do about this. And its really starting to bug me.

I'm like super tired right now and even Danny boy said to go to sleep. So I'm gonna listen to him for once and take a nap. I'll be back on a bit later (gotta meet a deadline and amount of posts on this since I'm graded on it for engrish class. hehe)

*screams bloody murder*

I GIVE UP!!!!!! In other words....today sucked beyond belief!!!!! Practice went horribly and our cavalcade...don't GET me started! We came in fifth....OUT OF SIX BANDS! I'm glad we didn't get last, don't get me wrong about that...but we deserved AT LEAST third place. I mean come on....our show was one of thee most difficult ones there....and we puled it off....well everyone except me. I sucked SO bad...i screwed up almost the ENTIRE second song. And the third song...eh that was OK...and the fourth...OMG that's the one that sucked majorly. I screwed up so bad....and the band suffered because of my stupidity. *hangs head in shame* And the fact that we kept getting yelled at by our seniors and instructors....didn't help. Ms. senior thing 1 decides she's gonna be miss bossy and I got chewed out for a lot of stuff.....well a few times it was the guard in general...but still. When we were practicing I was getting so stressed and sh*t because of people....I was...and probably still am....considering the option of quitting. I can't take this. It's too stressful and.....UGH. I have such a hard time with a lot of the work AND the people there and I....don't always get along....in fact there is always some kind of drama in guard. Man....this officially sucks!! Maybe i should talk to someone intelligent and honest...*cough cough* Dan *cough cough* about this. He'll help me...i know it. I don't want to quit because my mom has spent so much money on me to do this....like we probably put close to $100 into this......and I feel obligated to finish it out because..well....i don't want it to go for nothing. So...talking to her feels like a swayed vote. But with my Danny boy.....he couldn't care less whether i quit or not...well maybe he CARES but it wouldn't affect him any. So.....yeah.Welp...im tired beyond comprehension so im going to bed ^_^ Night Y'all!

friday night football....WUUUUUW

Our team did awesome tonight. They won...again! that's....three wins no losses ^_^ yay! Our band didn't have to play tonight...but some of us showed up anyways. That's probably why we won. ANYWAYS....
OMG.....I got to hang out with Dan after the game a bit...OMG. I didn't want to leave....AT ALL. We were in the band hall....hugging...like constantly. As in...we were kinda never separated ^_^. But...one part that definitely stands out in my memory....and i probably will never forget this...He was hugging me from behind...like he had his arms around my shoulders and we looked like right across from us and saw in the glass....our reflection (obviously). But when we looked, he comes off and says "oh isn't that a cute reflection". I think i turned almost bright red and just.....UGH i don't really remember what i did. probably just giggled. But before that he's like "yeah I'm not good at this whole 'clingy' stuff" I just said that he could have fooled me ^_^. It's kinda of difficult to describe how he acts around me...like he's gentle and sweet, yet rowdy and....either cocky or obnoxious (you pick). But.....it's just...different with him. a good different. I dunno. all i do know is that i want to spend more time with him but i kinda can't because I'm in color guard and girl scouts and he....he's in football and youth group and boy scouts and....all sorts of stuff. Between our two schedules...we have NO free time. *sigh* this sucks

well...I'm going to bed.....i might be on in the morning to blog about....dreams, future events...etc. Night Peoplez.

what a saturday

Today we had our family reunion. Boy oh boy was THAT fun. I am sick...as some may already know, and of course I was coughing ALL day. It hurts just to swallow! My voice sounds horrible and my nose is STILL stuffed up. Last night at the football game it wasn't too bad but then again screaming my head off even if my b.f. WASN'T on the feild ^_^'

9/5/08....but you already knew that.

Ok....friday. Not so much of a tgif for me though. Last night i felt sick....like cold sick. I have a soore throat (still) runny nose (still) and sneezing every now and then......STILL! ITS NUTST! PLUS, i didnt go to color gaurd practice last night....so if we learned anything new....i wouldn't know it..FOR TONIGHT'S FOOTBALL GAME! AHHHHHH. I'm kinda scared. I still feel sick...and if i have a hard time breathing tonight....because of being stuffed up, i'm going to ask if i ABSOLUTELY HAVE to do the show. If they say no...because of being in not so good physical condition, then im sitting out...or i'll be a runner or something (runners collect flags).

On the brighter side...i didnt have any homework last night so i could go to sleep at 7 instead of 10...like I did do. ^_^. I slept ALLLLLL night! No one called for me *cough cough* Dan*cough cough* but thats ok. I got to talk to him this morning. He gave me his jersey to wear and said about putting flowers out for my dad (he died in january and his birthday is THIS sunday). Dan wouldn't be able to come on sunday cause he's going to a football game but we could go some other time. He WANTS to go....which is shocking to me....he never met my dad. Hell, my last boyfriend never met my dad. *shrug* oh well. So, thats good that he wants to go. One complication....haven't said anything to mom yet ^_^. I dont want to get her upset especially with the pressure of the rhodes family reunion coming up on saturday. But....we'll survive. Hopefully ^_^.

welp, gotta wrap this up, talk to youz later!

update

we're sitting in class, Our english teacher telling us about citations and stuff, and everyone is working on their posts. HAHAH. Its really funny. the one girl in my class is using this program right now and i wanna ask what it is...but can't because teacher's talking. I'm a respectful person....but typing and listening is another story ^_^.



Last night at color gaurd....I was really upset, angry. I was having a bad night. First, While doing the third song, i hit my right shoulder REALLY hard. It probably is gonna bruise but so far it hasn't. And ron, our instructor, he is now making me jazz run AND doing HUGE figure eights AT THE SAME TIME! UUUGH! It made me so mad. I'm having a hard time so as it is and he just keeps making it worse for me! And another thing, it felt like i was being ignored ALL day yesterday. And i kinda still am. Well then of course the bonehead i have FIVE FREAKING CLASSES WITH decides to start on me in homeroom today. UGH he makes me so mad. I just wish i could hit him, he's lucky i can't though. Then he'd really hate me ^_^. So yea.
*after school*
I didn't get to see dan much today....and he hardly said anything when i did. In fact, when i walked over to him, he looked like he was looking for someone ^_^ it was kinda sad that i slightly scared him. Or atleast I think I did. HAHA

Not much else to say......update later...or tomorrow...whichever!

OMG!

Just a random post....me and my boyfriend spent over 2 HOURS on the phone yesterday. He had a game earlier that day, I tried to make it but only got there about halfway through it. I still got to see him play. He did really good. I was surprised he was willing to talk to me for so long on the phone afterwards. I only got to see him for like not even five minutes, so I guess it was OK. He was watching a baseball game whole talking to me and he was kinda yelling at the TV. It was funny. He's so adorable. I'm sorry.....I had to put that in there. I don't know why but I just have a feeling that me and him will last for a while. I hope we do. He's so....fantastic. He is actually willing to give ME hugs....I had to work for them in my last relationship....which was the one where I had to make all the moves. He doesn't mind spending more than two hours on the phone with me just talking about anything and everything. EVERY time I see him my heart beats just a little bit faster. He is the reason why I'm smiling again. Since my dad past I have a hard time smiling, but he can make me laugh so hard. OH.....and he WANTS to spend time with me. He gets upset when I mention something fun we can do and then to find that that day he is busy. Like my 16th b-day party. I want to have it on the 20th of Sept. but he has so much to do that day.....or so I'm told. So I suggested me and him do something afterwards or before...just the two of us. ^_^ he felt better...I hope. And i also invited him to hang with me at our family reunion because, well, its the side of the family that is like a high school soap opera and i don't want to get involved in most of it. But I hope he and his family, or just him, can come.....I need that relief. HAHA!

Im probably making not ONE bit of sense. I apologize to anyone who reads this post and finds it COMPLETELY useless. haha.....i just had to write sumfin.

L8TER SK8TERZ!

Continuance...

Sorry i didnt get my posts up for.....two or three days. I tried to yesterday in class but the school's internet was messed up so it didnt save my post.

OK....here goes. two nights ago, I had a VERY nice long conversation with my boyfriend. And it was very enlightening....a few tears were shed on my part but....it was TECHNICALLY his fault but it wasn't ABOUT him. We were talking about things happening for a reason....and I said about my dad's passing, he said that too had a reason behind it. He said,"Maybe God was just calling him home." Well, hearing that...even coming from him....I lost it. I started crying and I apologized like five times. He said to stop apologizing cause I didn't do anything wrong. I listened to him and stopped. Then we got on the subject of my friends. A few of my friends and I were having a slight quarrel I guess you could say. Well, from his perspective, fighting with friends is kind of stupid. Now him, he can't stay mad or hold a grudge or anything like that. I envy him so much for that. He offered some more advice, call my one friend and apologize, since I waned to take a break from some of my friends, to not do it leaving on bad terms. So, I took his advice and called Chiyo as soon as I hung up with him. I felt a bit better, but the sadness I still felt was because of my dad.

On a happier note, I got to wear his jersey yesterday. It was awkward for me. Especially given the fact that he's a jock (football) and i have never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd be dating a football player. Go figure. HAH. But....I had five people ask who's jersey it was, maybe three people ask if we are dating ( which is a " YEAH DUH!" kinda thing), and i had two of the football players say hi to me in the morning, i know both of them, the one i have art class with and the other i met last year while i was at practice for the musical BUT i can't remember his name. Sorry to whoever that was ^_^. For some reason...two days ago, the football team was making fun of Dan for having me as a girlfriend. The guy i know from elementary school who is ALSO on the football team and in my math class said that it's not an everyday thing that Dan has a girlfriend. Which I slightly understand. Not too many people can handle him (since they all claim that he's arrogant and/or cocky) But i still love him ^_^! His varisty football game is tonight and I have to perform for color gaurd there. We're performing before the game though. The other team's band is playing at half time. FUN! And then of course....the junior varsity ame (which he is a starter on) i can only make it there about half way to 3/4 of it being over! Stupid school (not actual school.....Sylvan.) I'd only get there around 11 cause I sylvan til 10:30! GRRRRRR! and i don't think his coaches are dumb enough to keep him in the WHOLE game....but I am gonna wear his jersey tonight over my uniform and tomorrow when i see him (if i see him) so i can give it back ^_^ cause he kinda needs it for away games. no? Anyways.....thats my game plan. Hopefully it works. ^_^ wish me luck and hopefully our team wins since da band wil be there ^_^!

Back 2 School

Otay....time to det back to school. Yesterday was the first day back....and my sixteenth birthday. Yipee. It felt like nobody knew or even cared. A few friends said "happy birthday" but that was only after I reminded them. AND....I didn't even get to see Dan! I don't have a single dang class with him!!!! It sucks! But the good thing about last night....Little Larry called me. I talked to him for a whole half hour. Miraculous isn't it? He asked if I got his presents, asked when i opened them (i wasnt supposed to until yesterday but I opened them over the weekend already), and asked what was up with the fam and what not. So it was a nice little convo. Well i gotta go...class is soon over. L8ter Sk8terz!