*screams bloody murder*

I GIVE UP!!!!!! In other words....today sucked beyond belief!!!!! Practice went horribly and our cavalcade...don't GET me started! We came in fifth....OUT OF SIX BANDS! I'm glad we didn't get last, don't get me wrong about that...but we deserved AT LEAST third place. I mean come on....our show was one of thee most difficult ones there....and we puled it off....well everyone except me. I sucked SO bad...i screwed up almost the ENTIRE second song. And the third song...eh that was OK...and the fourth...OMG that's the one that sucked majorly. I screwed up so bad....and the band suffered because of my stupidity. *hangs head in shame* And the fact that we kept getting yelled at by our seniors and instructors....didn't help. Ms. senior thing 1 decides she's gonna be miss bossy and I got chewed out for a lot of stuff.....well a few times it was the guard in general...but still. When we were practicing I was getting so stressed and sh*t because of people....I was...and probably still am....considering the option of quitting. I can't take this. It's too stressful and.....UGH. I have such a hard time with a lot of the work AND the people there and I....don't always get along....in fact there is always some kind of drama in guard. Man....this officially sucks!! Maybe i should talk to someone intelligent and honest...*cough cough* Dan *cough cough* about this. He'll help me...i know it. I don't want to quit because my mom has spent so much money on me to do this....like we probably put close to $100 into this......and I feel obligated to finish it out because..well....i don't want it to go for nothing. So...talking to her feels like a swayed vote. But with my Danny boy.....he couldn't care less whether i quit or not...well maybe he CARES but it wouldn't affect him any. So.....yeah.Welp...im tired beyond comprehension so im going to bed ^_^ Night Y'all!

friday night football....WUUUUUW

Our team did awesome tonight. They won...again! that's....three wins no losses ^_^ yay! Our band didn't have to play tonight...but some of us showed up anyways. That's probably why we won. ANYWAYS....
OMG.....I got to hang out with Dan after the game a bit...OMG. I didn't want to leave....AT ALL. We were in the band hall....hugging...like constantly. As in...we were kinda never separated ^_^. But...one part that definitely stands out in my memory....and i probably will never forget this...He was hugging me from behind...like he had his arms around my shoulders and we looked like right across from us and saw in the glass....our reflection (obviously). But when we looked, he comes off and says "oh isn't that a cute reflection". I think i turned almost bright red and just.....UGH i don't really remember what i did. probably just giggled. But before that he's like "yeah I'm not good at this whole 'clingy' stuff" I just said that he could have fooled me ^_^. It's kinda of difficult to describe how he acts around me...like he's gentle and sweet, yet rowdy and....either cocky or obnoxious (you pick). But.....it's just...different with him. a good different. I dunno. all i do know is that i want to spend more time with him but i kinda can't because I'm in color guard and girl scouts and he....he's in football and youth group and boy scouts and....all sorts of stuff. Between our two schedules...we have NO free time. *sigh* this sucks

well...I'm going to bed.....i might be on in the morning to blog about....dreams, future events...etc. Night Peoplez.

what a saturday

Today we had our family reunion. Boy oh boy was THAT fun. I am sick...as some may already know, and of course I was coughing ALL day. It hurts just to swallow! My voice sounds horrible and my nose is STILL stuffed up. Last night at the football game it wasn't too bad but then again screaming my head off even if my b.f. WASN'T on the feild ^_^'

9/5/08....but you already knew that.

Ok....friday. Not so much of a tgif for me though. Last night i felt sick....like cold sick. I have a soore throat (still) runny nose (still) and sneezing every now and then......STILL! ITS NUTST! PLUS, i didnt go to color gaurd practice last night....so if we learned anything new....i wouldn't know it..FOR TONIGHT'S FOOTBALL GAME! AHHHHHH. I'm kinda scared. I still feel sick...and if i have a hard time breathing tonight....because of being stuffed up, i'm going to ask if i ABSOLUTELY HAVE to do the show. If they say no...because of being in not so good physical condition, then im sitting out...or i'll be a runner or something (runners collect flags).

On the brighter side...i didnt have any homework last night so i could go to sleep at 7 instead of 10...like I did do. ^_^. I slept ALLLLLL night! No one called for me *cough cough* Dan*cough cough* but thats ok. I got to talk to him this morning. He gave me his jersey to wear and said about putting flowers out for my dad (he died in january and his birthday is THIS sunday). Dan wouldn't be able to come on sunday cause he's going to a football game but we could go some other time. He WANTS to go....which is shocking to me....he never met my dad. Hell, my last boyfriend never met my dad. *shrug* oh well. So, thats good that he wants to go. One complication....haven't said anything to mom yet ^_^. I dont want to get her upset especially with the pressure of the rhodes family reunion coming up on saturday. But....we'll survive. Hopefully ^_^.

welp, gotta wrap this up, talk to youz later!

update

we're sitting in class, Our english teacher telling us about citations and stuff, and everyone is working on their posts. HAHAH. Its really funny. the one girl in my class is using this program right now and i wanna ask what it is...but can't because teacher's talking. I'm a respectful person....but typing and listening is another story ^_^.



Last night at color gaurd....I was really upset, angry. I was having a bad night. First, While doing the third song, i hit my right shoulder REALLY hard. It probably is gonna bruise but so far it hasn't. And ron, our instructor, he is now making me jazz run AND doing HUGE figure eights AT THE SAME TIME! UUUGH! It made me so mad. I'm having a hard time so as it is and he just keeps making it worse for me! And another thing, it felt like i was being ignored ALL day yesterday. And i kinda still am. Well then of course the bonehead i have FIVE FREAKING CLASSES WITH decides to start on me in homeroom today. UGH he makes me so mad. I just wish i could hit him, he's lucky i can't though. Then he'd really hate me ^_^. So yea.
*after school*
I didn't get to see dan much today....and he hardly said anything when i did. In fact, when i walked over to him, he looked like he was looking for someone ^_^ it was kinda sad that i slightly scared him. Or atleast I think I did. HAHA

Not much else to say......update later...or tomorrow...whichever!

OMG!

Just a random post....me and my boyfriend spent over 2 HOURS on the phone yesterday. He had a game earlier that day, I tried to make it but only got there about halfway through it. I still got to see him play. He did really good. I was surprised he was willing to talk to me for so long on the phone afterwards. I only got to see him for like not even five minutes, so I guess it was OK. He was watching a baseball game whole talking to me and he was kinda yelling at the TV. It was funny. He's so adorable. I'm sorry.....I had to put that in there. I don't know why but I just have a feeling that me and him will last for a while. I hope we do. He's so....fantastic. He is actually willing to give ME hugs....I had to work for them in my last relationship....which was the one where I had to make all the moves. He doesn't mind spending more than two hours on the phone with me just talking about anything and everything. EVERY time I see him my heart beats just a little bit faster. He is the reason why I'm smiling again. Since my dad past I have a hard time smiling, but he can make me laugh so hard. OH.....and he WANTS to spend time with me. He gets upset when I mention something fun we can do and then to find that that day he is busy. Like my 16th b-day party. I want to have it on the 20th of Sept. but he has so much to do that day.....or so I'm told. So I suggested me and him do something afterwards or before...just the two of us. ^_^ he felt better...I hope. And i also invited him to hang with me at our family reunion because, well, its the side of the family that is like a high school soap opera and i don't want to get involved in most of it. But I hope he and his family, or just him, can come.....I need that relief. HAHA!

Im probably making not ONE bit of sense. I apologize to anyone who reads this post and finds it COMPLETELY useless. haha.....i just had to write sumfin.

L8TER SK8TERZ!

Continuance...

Sorry i didnt get my posts up for.....two or three days. I tried to yesterday in class but the school's internet was messed up so it didnt save my post.

OK....here goes. two nights ago, I had a VERY nice long conversation with my boyfriend. And it was very enlightening....a few tears were shed on my part but....it was TECHNICALLY his fault but it wasn't ABOUT him. We were talking about things happening for a reason....and I said about my dad's passing, he said that too had a reason behind it. He said,"Maybe God was just calling him home." Well, hearing that...even coming from him....I lost it. I started crying and I apologized like five times. He said to stop apologizing cause I didn't do anything wrong. I listened to him and stopped. Then we got on the subject of my friends. A few of my friends and I were having a slight quarrel I guess you could say. Well, from his perspective, fighting with friends is kind of stupid. Now him, he can't stay mad or hold a grudge or anything like that. I envy him so much for that. He offered some more advice, call my one friend and apologize, since I waned to take a break from some of my friends, to not do it leaving on bad terms. So, I took his advice and called Chiyo as soon as I hung up with him. I felt a bit better, but the sadness I still felt was because of my dad.

On a happier note, I got to wear his jersey yesterday. It was awkward for me. Especially given the fact that he's a jock (football) and i have never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd be dating a football player. Go figure. HAH. But....I had five people ask who's jersey it was, maybe three people ask if we are dating ( which is a " YEAH DUH!" kinda thing), and i had two of the football players say hi to me in the morning, i know both of them, the one i have art class with and the other i met last year while i was at practice for the musical BUT i can't remember his name. Sorry to whoever that was ^_^. For some reason...two days ago, the football team was making fun of Dan for having me as a girlfriend. The guy i know from elementary school who is ALSO on the football team and in my math class said that it's not an everyday thing that Dan has a girlfriend. Which I slightly understand. Not too many people can handle him (since they all claim that he's arrogant and/or cocky) But i still love him ^_^! His varisty football game is tonight and I have to perform for color gaurd there. We're performing before the game though. The other team's band is playing at half time. FUN! And then of course....the junior varsity ame (which he is a starter on) i can only make it there about half way to 3/4 of it being over! Stupid school (not actual school.....Sylvan.) I'd only get there around 11 cause I sylvan til 10:30! GRRRRRR! and i don't think his coaches are dumb enough to keep him in the WHOLE game....but I am gonna wear his jersey tonight over my uniform and tomorrow when i see him (if i see him) so i can give it back ^_^ cause he kinda needs it for away games. no? Anyways.....thats my game plan. Hopefully it works. ^_^ wish me luck and hopefully our team wins since da band wil be there ^_^!